tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-197525276006187022012-01-30T23:15:45.578-05:00True Tales from Twisted Travelers—Anecdotes, Incidents, and Lessons Learned <br> by Mark Bloom &amp; Jason Scholder <p> <i>As always, gloriously ad-free!</i></p>Mark Bloom and Jason Scholderhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07908382179321267850noreply@blogger.comBlogger1151100tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19752527600618702.post-22634897751696061512012-01-29T11:25:00.003-05:002012-01-30T23:15:45.586-05:00

Back in October 2010, we introduced a feature we called Embarrassing Travel Moment of the Month. While we intended to post a story every month, we have obviously failed. Miserably. Sorry. So you’ll have to settle for the occasional embarrassing travel moment of the month. You can read these short posts in between working at the mill and planning your escape, which we’re sure will lead to your own

Mark Bloom and Jason Scholderhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07908382179321267850noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19752527600618702.post-47149409365957601752012-01-21T22:52:00.002-05:002012-01-26T21:44:09.253-05:00

We know we haven’t written much lately, but in our defense, we haven’t traveled much lately either. We broke our fast recently, and so now we return to form. We hope you enjoy this modern fable. It is, of course, absolutely true. —MB & JS -- We can remember back when it was fun to fly. Right after we were pushed out of the nest, we traveled light and traveled often. Flying was relatively

Mark Bloom and Jason Scholderhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07908382179321267850noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19752527600618702.post-85342671722470928262011-07-05T00:25:00.002-04:002011-07-05T00:31:47.231-04:00

We know it’s been a long time since our last post. Life sometimes gets in the way of art . . . or literary offal, as the case may be for blog posts. We wanted to remind all our faithful readers, however, that the back list of stories is worth exploring. Try typing a place into our Search function and see what comes up. Explore the sidebar items. This site (as always, gloriously advertisement-free

Mark Bloom and Jason Scholderhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07908382179321267850noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19752527600618702.post-87619878055967130192011-04-03T18:08:00.002-04:002011-07-05T00:42:27.340-04:00

We very rarely steal others’ work. Oh, we occasionally use someone else’s quote, especially when it seems apt, but since there’s plenty of bad experiences to go around, we’ve never felt the need to use previously published material. Until now. The following excerpt comes from the highly recommended book titled Daily Afflictions: The Agony of Being Connected to Everything in the Universe by Andrew

Mark Bloom and Jason Scholderhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07908382179321267850noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19752527600618702.post-22699193854175459852011-03-02T22:10:00.003-05:002011-07-05T00:44:40.231-04:00

Back in November, we undertook a cross-country drive. The deal was to deliver a car for a friend who was moving from Asheville, NC, to Los Angeles, CA. We planned it as a 3-day trip, but persuaded our friend to let us leave early so we could spend time with some of our other western friends. We could have easily made the trip in three days, given three 12-hour, 750-mile days. Our friend, whose

Mark Bloom and Jason Scholderhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07908382179321267850noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19752527600618702.post-41803758717362810912010-11-21T11:18:00.000-05:002010-11-21T11:18:08.844-05:00

As regular readers of our blog know, we occasionally write about food experiences on the road. Here’s a food story from our hometown. It will not only entertain you, but it will tell you more about Asheville, NC, than you probably want to know. Just in case you were thinking about visiting. —MB & JS-- Getting together for a meal with our friends often becomes an adventure that requires the deft

Mark Bloom and Jason Scholderhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07908382179321267850noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19752527600618702.post-44496282835898491412010-11-07T17:53:00.000-05:002010-11-07T17:53:11.100-05:00

The United States is a remarkable place and not necessarily because it’s a republic or because of its capitalist economy (although both help). The contradictions within our own borders are fascinating. The highways showcase literally hundreds of makes and models of cars and trucks, and yet the highway system itself could only have been built by the federal government. Sort of like capitalism

Mark Bloom and Jason Scholderhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07908382179321267850noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19752527600618702.post-35142005537576522722010-10-22T16:08:00.000-04:002010-10-22T16:08:02.586-04:00

We absolutely loathe corniness. We believe corny jokes should be punishable by death . . . or at least a rail right out of town. And don’t get us started on puns. That said, we do on occasion veer dangerously close to the line between pun and hate. Hey, you’re here, so you might as well read the following quote. You know you want to. “We’ve done a lot of hitchhiking in our day. We’ve hitched for

Mark Bloom and Jason Scholderhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07908382179321267850noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19752527600618702.post-29137276907790166752010-10-10T12:37:00.001-04:002010-10-10T12:39:12.218-04:00

This month, we introduce a new feature here at Don’t Even Go There. We’ve put this off as long as possible, but these stories keep piling up. Each trip we take contributes another sad story to the backlog. As always, we hope you learn from our mistakes. Maybe you’ll even laugh at our expense. Go ahead. We don’t care. We’re over it. We’ve moved on. Really, we’re . . . oh God. Did we really do that

Mark Bloom and Jason Scholderhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07908382179321267850noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19752527600618702.post-29539420662602833192010-09-25T21:48:00.000-04:002010-09-25T21:48:22.267-04:00

We have great respect for the masters. After all, they’ve been writing a lot longer than we have. Plus, they’ve traveled farther and by much cruder methods. You’ve got to respect that. This month’s quote comes from one of those masters. His saying struck us as so apt, that we had to share it with you. If you don’t smile, then you’ve never truly traveled. “One always begins to forgive a place as

Mark Bloom and Jason Scholderhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07908382179321267850noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19752527600618702.post-70601422876701236142010-09-14T00:11:00.000-04:002010-09-14T00:11:41.199-04:00

This true story happened on our recent trip to the Great Northeast, in particular, the town we once called home. Usually, we try never to look back. This time, however, we found ourselves surrounded by “back.” We had no other place to look. You do. Escape before the punchline. Don’t say we didn’t warn you. —MB & JS -- As we tootled around our original hometown—Salem, Massachusetts—reliving the

Mark Bloom and Jason Scholderhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07908382179321267850noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19752527600618702.post-64339471862240471102010-08-28T00:15:00.000-04:002010-08-28T00:15:55.600-04:00

We have traveled extensively throughout the United States, only missing those really unforgettable states such as Alaska, Nebraska, and Michigan for some reason. We've traveled through select parts of Europe and Australia, too. We’ve traveled by ship, plane, car, motorcycle, bicycle, and foot. While not all of our experiences have been pleasant, we cannot stress enough the importance of travel on

Mark Bloom and Jason Scholderhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07908382179321267850noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19752527600618702.post-10590845977181949062010-08-17T15:04:00.000-04:002010-08-17T15:04:50.830-04:00

We just returned from a trip to those northern states of grace: New Jersey and Massachusetts. But this quote isn’t about either of these two places. “It occurred to us, as we traveled yet again through the excruciating traffic of the Pennsylvania highway system, that every single highway construction worker in the U.S. must migrate to this state for work. Take our word for it: they are always

Mark Bloom and Jason Scholderhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07908382179321267850noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19752527600618702.post-16425247609814532492010-07-23T14:00:00.007-04:002010-07-25T13:32:37.829-04:00

We return once more to write about our new hometown: Asheville, North Carolina. In a way, it’s only fitting, since we chose this location for our very first post to this blog. In truth, it’s a city with charm, beauty, and contradictions. This story exposes one. —MB & JS -- Everyone longs to be wealthy. Well, every American, that is. People come to this country to “chase the American dream,” “

Mark Bloom and Jason Scholderhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07908382179321267850noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19752527600618702.post-67229018987971809992010-06-15T15:19:00.000-04:002010-06-15T15:19:03.109-04:00

Every once in a while a great Truth occurs to us. It usually happens when we least expect it: in the shower, in a car filled with strangers, or in the police station having our fingerprints taken. While scrambling to find a pen to write it down, it often gets skewed. So, without further ado, here’s our latest attempt at profundity. Hope you enjoy it. “Have you ever stopped in the midst of an

Mark Bloom and Jason Scholderhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07908382179321267850noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19752527600618702.post-17898284227845404552010-06-09T21:29:00.000-04:002010-06-09T21:29:18.862-04:00

Here’s a strange but true tale with an unusual happy ending (unusual in that it has a happy ending at all). Sometimes, despite our best efforts, a trip ends in unexpected mediocrity or unmitigated indifference. Face it: this blog is based on stories that end poorly with dire warnings about where you shouldn’t go and why. Every once in a while, though, we like to surprise you with a place we found

Mark Bloom and Jason Scholderhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07908382179321267850noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19752527600618702.post-34534968979976140692010-05-29T09:59:00.015-04:002010-06-15T15:18:05.711-04:00

We wish we had something intelligent to impart, something you would remember for the days or months ahead. Unfortunately, we’re dry. So we (literally) dug up an old quote that we think fits our little blog. But don’t worry: it’s a quote from a master. We even wish we could have met him face-to-face, but then, we’d be dead now too. “Travel is fatal to prejudice, bigotry, and narrow-mindedness, and

Mark Bloom and Jason Scholderhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07908382179321267850noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19752527600618702.post-81920111293347593732010-04-30T20:36:00.002-04:002010-05-01T17:02:09.689-04:00

We return now to the United States, in particular to the “Left Coast,” so named as much for its geographic location as for its politics. We used to live in Southern California, land of outdoor hot tubs and perpetual sunny skies (except for the “June Gloom”). We’re here to tell you it’s not all champagne and roses. Heck, it’s not even all beer and carnations. Read on. —MB & JS -- When you think

Mark Bloom and Jason Scholderhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07908382179321267850noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19752527600618702.post-3906538627326958092010-04-22T14:55:00.000-04:002010-04-22T14:55:21.369-04:00

Good things come to those who wait . . . or at least to those who return to our little blog. We recently dug up an old report from our European Vacation, which you’ll be relieved to learn is in no way associated with Chevy Chase. We apologize for the recent bout of inactivity, but you must understand that as self-unemployed writers, we occasionally have to stoop to (gasp!) working for a living.

Mark Bloom and Jason Scholderhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07908382179321267850noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19752527600618702.post-32148470630433918252010-04-16T01:39:00.000-04:002010-04-16T01:39:09.574-04:00

We recognize we haven’t posted in a while. We apologize. We’ve been researching . . . er, we mean traveling to . . . new places. In the meantime, we’d like to share the saying off a T-shirt we saw in Mexico. It’s in English, and it fits our little blog to a “T.” We hope you enjoy it. “Never let the facts get in the way of a good story.” –Mark Bloom & Jason Scholder (2010)

Mark Bloom and Jason Scholderhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07908382179321267850noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19752527600618702.post-61526223222348993912010-03-03T21:43:00.003-05:002010-03-03T22:10:35.601-05:00

In honor of Spring Training, that annual rite of hand-wringing for all fans of the grand game of rotisserie baseball, we thought we’d relate this true story from our past. We wanted to worship at a famous shrine, and we thought we should visit while it still stood. Read and enjoy this bit of historical drama. If you’re not into history, baseball, or the meaning of life . . . read it anyway. —MB &

Mark Bloom and Jason Scholderhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07908382179321267850noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19752527600618702.post-20849355078133060432010-02-22T11:43:00.003-05:002010-02-22T12:05:15.218-05:00

Welcome to a blog post from the road. We are in the Boston area, where the cold is as fierce as the traffic. The quote this month involves this provincial backwater. We hope you enjoy it and continue to return again for more stories about places to avoid throughout this great world of ours."Boston is known for its baked beans, which has become the butt of many jokes (pun intended, unfortunately).

Mark Bloom and Jason Scholderhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07908382179321267850noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19752527600618702.post-15832686546517353332010-02-15T12:21:00.004-05:002010-02-15T18:02:11.815-05:00

Days before we undertake another road trip (this one by car to New England), we thought we’d share the following story of advice . . . if for no other reason than to remind ourselves what we have to look forward to. This next trip is going to be a multi-day drive, so anything can happen, but it’s OK: we’ll be wearing clean underwear. Wish us luck and look for the next story in a couple weeks. —MB

Mark Bloom and Jason Scholderhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07908382179321267850noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19752527600618702.post-27635693018134007732010-02-07T01:11:00.008-05:002010-02-08T15:45:54.333-05:00

To celebrate Mark’s birthday, we present one of our favorite adventures of all time. It satisfies all our criteria for this blog because it was a surprising find and way off the beaten path. We hope you like this one, but if you don’t: try to find another travel blog this insightful, this witty, this irreverent, and this unknown. (Don’t keep us secret: tell your friends.) —MB & JS--When you want

Mark Bloom and Jason Scholderhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07908382179321267850noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19752527600618702.post-87370012123030023152010-01-29T19:38:00.010-05:002010-02-07T01:10:11.735-05:00

Now we can add Sarasota, FL, to the list of places we’ve visited and written about. Why Sarasota? If you really asked that question, then you need to read more of our posts. Sarasota has a real highlight that we think you’ll be glad you missed. It’s all part of our civic duty. It’s all part of the service we offer here at Don’t Even Go There. We hope you enjoy this brand new entry. Be sure to

Mark Bloom and Jason Scholderhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07908382179321267850noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19752527600618702.post-34421927069028715722010-01-17T13:01:00.002-05:002010-01-17T13:08:14.530-05:00

This month’s quote comes in the form of a very reliable, remarkably uncanny travel tip. Unfortunately, it’s not one of ours. Still, in our effort to bring you the best (and worst) of travel stories and advice, we felt this quote perfectly fit the bill. Read, learn, and enjoy. And come back next week for another exciting tale from the road best abandoned.“When preparing to travel, lay out all your

Mark Bloom and Jason Scholderhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07908382179321267850noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19752527600618702.post-11224083806165215922010-01-12T00:18:00.010-05:002010-01-13T10:15:27.527-05:00

It’s been an entertaining time . . . almost two years. It seems like only yesterday when we set up this little blog as a creative outlet for all of our pent-up frustrations and political outrage. Since then, we managed to keep it (mostly) clean and (almost entirely) nonpartisan. The object was to entertain and inform, and we took to our task with pride and vigor, not piss and vinegar. If you’re

Mark Bloom and Jason Scholderhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07908382179321267850noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19752527600618702.post-59175311570219280312010-01-03T11:31:00.007-05:002010-01-03T12:30:33.685-05:00

For some travel destinations, we have to strain the bounds of incredulity to make them fit our nefarious purposes. For others, like the one described here, all we have to do is show up, look around, and take copious notes. In truth, these are the places we long for. These are the locations that deserve our attention. We hope you agree. —MB & JS--California is known for its eccentrics, and for

Mark Bloom and Jason Scholderhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07908382179321267850noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19752527600618702.post-37071201943820577192009-12-20T15:20:00.006-05:002009-12-20T15:36:24.629-05:00

We’re not your typical drug-addled Americans. In fact, we hardly ever do drugs, not anymore anyway. But that doesn’t mean we didn’t dabble back in the day. And really, the drug culture is everywhere you look in the United States, so it’s kind of difficult to ignore. Sometimes, you just have to roll with it. Which is what we hope you do for this month’s quote.“Whenever we’d tell our family and

Mark Bloom and Jason Scholderhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07908382179321267850noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19752527600618702.post-51213844339603703682009-12-13T12:05:00.004-05:002009-12-13T12:53:58.585-05:00

Once every blue moon—really, about as often as it snows in Las Vegas or the sun shines in Seattle—we do something completely stupid. It’s not that we started out with good intentions and everything turned out wrong. No. It’s just plain, damn stupid. Idiotic. Dumb. It flies in the face of common sense. Of course, it’s even worse when we do something like this away from home. Welcome to our world.

Mark Bloom and Jason Scholderhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07908382179321267850noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19752527600618702.post-64361371637378989422009-12-06T17:04:00.009-05:002009-12-06T20:51:33.434-05:00

When it comes to finding thrills in out-of-the-way places, we’re your men. Not only do we find the horrible in the ordinary, we find the exquisite in the unexpected. These places are usually located in places so remote or so foreign that it takes effort to find, reach, and enjoy them—even in this era of the Internet. We feel that’s our duty. It’s our responsibility to our loyal readers (and even

Mark Bloom and Jason Scholderhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07908382179321267850noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19752527600618702.post-12242256823533995242009-11-28T12:02:00.010-05:002009-12-03T16:13:09.386-05:00

Talk about a good thing gone bad, this story epitomizes the luck we’ve had while traveling. It’s almost enough to make us want to give up our search for the perfect near-miss of a perfect vacation. Actually, this experience comes as close as any. Maybe you’ll agree. If so, leave a comment and let us know. —MB & JS--Our favorite cruise story occurred on a ten-day journey from San Juan, Puerto Rico

Mark Bloom and Jason Scholderhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07908382179321267850noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19752527600618702.post-75414687417081181542009-11-21T22:32:00.001-05:002009-11-21T22:52:19.610-05:00

This month’s quote comes in three pieces, although all are related. By the way, all three are by other people, and we’ve used them without permission. That doesn’t mean we’re bad. It also doesn’t mean we’re cheating. Digging up these quotes takes almost as much time as writing our own. We hope you enjoy these, but if not, come back next week for a new installment of Don’t Even Go There.“The

Mark Bloom and Jason Scholderhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07908382179321267850noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19752527600618702.post-84501827271165227732009-11-14T09:58:00.003-05:002009-11-14T10:36:49.449-05:00

We like to drink. You could say that our worldly travels are just an attempt to find a new beer, a new wine, or a new martini. That’s not really the whole truth, of course, which you’d know if you’ve read more than two of our stories. Still, the theme (alcohol) keeps popping up from time to time. Here’s another example, while shining too bright a light on a new location. Read on. —MB & JS--We’ve

Mark Bloom and Jason Scholderhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07908382179321267850noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19752527600618702.post-17182262501724975912009-11-07T15:32:00.005-05:002009-11-09T09:20:56.096-05:00

Here’s another of our frightfully amusing theme park adventures. This one encapsulates its host city so well that you’ll feel like you’ve really been there (even if you haven’t) and immediately need to take a shower (even if you’ve just had one). That’s the kind experience we hope to attain for you, our loyal readers: one that’s so real, so funny, and so insane, you’ll repeat it to your friends

Mark Bloom and Jason Scholderhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07908382179321267850noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19752527600618702.post-40526999427534000602009-11-01T14:02:00.013-05:002009-11-08T13:09:41.491-05:00

This is the very first time we’ve missed a deadline. We were supposed to post the following story yesterday, on Halloween. That was our intent. Then Halloween happened. The next thing we knew, we were waking up with dry, bleary eyes and puncture wounds in our necks. Well, maybe it wasn’t that dramatic, but that’s how it felt. Forgive our tardiness and enjoy this special story. —MB & JS--“Holiday

Mark Bloom and Jason Scholderhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07908382179321267850noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19752527600618702.post-43253101607744496202009-10-23T20:53:00.002-04:002009-10-23T20:59:15.262-04:00

The way you travel says a lot about you. For example, we are former hitchhikers who prefer trains to planes, and our stories reflect this inclination. All this experience has led to some insights and revelations over the years. Let us share one with you now:“When in doubt, buy the second-class ticket. First class will be too expensive and third class too uncomfortable. That doesn’t make us

Mark Bloom and Jason Scholderhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07908382179321267850noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19752527600618702.post-76697307950926023602009-10-18T14:46:00.008-04:002009-10-18T15:40:28.333-04:00

Here is another story from our many, many hitchhiking adventures. This true story proves once again that even knowing the lay of the land can’t always protect you from the unimaginable. Sometimes, you’re just on your own. That’s the thrill and the beauty of traveling: you never know how the journey will end until you reach your destination. —MB & JS--Germany has an excellent train system—its

Mark Bloom and Jason Scholderhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07908382179321267850noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19752527600618702.post-35711435572827920262009-10-07T19:43:00.008-04:002009-10-07T21:45:29.726-04:00

This story comes from a friend of ours who travels (as you’ll soon see) to more exotic places than we normally go. That’s why we like her so much. That, and because she shares her stories with us freely. Here’s an adventure we have never even dreamed about, and yet it’s one our friend Heather undertook without a second thought. Maybe she’s having second thoughts now. —MB & JS--In the archipelago

Mark Bloom and Jason Scholderhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07908382179321267850noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19752527600618702.post-45526747160705202302009-09-25T19:47:00.006-04:002009-09-25T20:43:08.547-04:00

We tend to go where few have gone before us. Occasionally, this reveals rare treasures worth any amount of discomfort it took to get there. More often, however, we just find more discomfort after all the discomfort it took to get there. Such was the case in this story. Despite the discomfort, the trip left a lasting memory, one we can now share for your benefit. Read and learn, young Opie

Mark Bloom and Jason Scholderhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07908382179321267850noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19752527600618702.post-78523147126883711682009-09-18T21:36:00.005-04:002009-10-23T20:56:38.151-04:00

Here’s some real travel wisdom. It comes from having traveled far beyond our country’s borders. There are things you can learn only by going someplace strange, awkward, foreign. Like Las Vegas. Then wisdom hits you upside the head like a whore’s purse loaded with nickels. Anyway, here is one of the tidbits we learned:“Europe is just like the States. Except they speak English with a funny accent.

Mark Bloom and Jason Scholderhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07908382179321267850noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19752527600618702.post-20140643990736025832009-09-11T20:02:00.005-04:002009-09-11T20:44:11.480-04:00

This is one of our favorite stories. And it’s true. And it’s not there anymore. Well, it is, but it’s not the same at all. You’ll have to read the tale and judge for yourself. While it wasn’t exactly dangerous, it just felt very, very weird. Like visiting an old friend a month after he was released from prison after twenty years. That’s as good an analogy as we can come up with. See for yourself.

Mark Bloom and Jason Scholderhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07908382179321267850noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19752527600618702.post-37443058695289178292009-09-05T23:34:00.014-04:002009-09-06T00:44:18.244-04:00

We’ve often dropped hints about The Other Half, assuming you knew what we meant. Just to be safe, we thought we’d finally share a story about them. You may be surprised. When we refer to the other half, always make sure you know which half we’re talking about. Confused? Don’t worry, this story will set everything straight. Enjoy. —MB & JS -- Maine, in the northeastern corner of the US, keeps a

Mark Bloom and Jason Scholderhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07908382179321267850noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19752527600618702.post-9164955406806984592009-08-28T11:20:00.014-04:002009-11-09T15:22:21.458-05:00

We thought we’d pause a moment and talk about the Number One location of Our Top Ten Places to Avoid (if you’ve never seen it, look in the right-hand column). Why did we list the travel section of a magazine rack as the worst place to visit? It might seem odd, since it’s so unlike all the other destinations we write about. Let us explain. —MB & JS--Anyone who travels looks for advice, tips, and

Mark Bloom and Jason Scholderhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07908382179321267850noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19752527600618702.post-61307336757034865072009-08-20T19:03:00.006-04:002009-08-20T19:20:05.857-04:00

We sometimes succumb to souvenir shopping. It’s shameful, we know. The worst souvenirs are the T-shirts that shout the name of some hell hole we visited for a half hour while waiting for bail money (although you have to admit not many others wear their Kansas State . . . Prison T as proudly as we do). Anyway, we recently found the perfect souvenir. Almost.“We just bought T-shirts that say Not a

Mark Bloom and Jason Scholderhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07908382179321267850noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19752527600618702.post-87678144627673108262009-08-12T22:17:00.009-04:002009-08-12T23:23:46.496-04:00

Here’s another one of our stories about foreign food . . . meaning it’s food that’s foreign to us. In past posts, we’ve written about jalapeños, frogs’ legs, and German Kaldaunen, among other tasty treats. This month’s entry isn’t as sour as all that, but we still hope you like it. —MB & JS--Everything we know about wine we learned from a trip to Napa Valley, California. The experience taught us

Mark Bloom and Jason Scholderhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07908382179321267850noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19752527600618702.post-22976354385141746682009-08-03T20:10:00.012-04:002009-08-19T14:54:57.335-04:00

Sometimes, a journey away from home shocks us with unexpected delights and disrupted stereotypes. These trips have a profound effect on us. It’s at times like this when we seriously question our calling of skewering vacation destinations. After all, isn’t travel by definition a very personal experience? Luckily for us, there’s always places like Everett, Massachusetts—known to locals and drunks

Mark Bloom and Jason Scholderhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07908382179321267850noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19752527600618702.post-84402188724742487752009-07-26T19:50:00.013-04:002009-08-04T00:28:38.168-04:00

We don’t have many stories about Canada. That’s unfortunate, because it just seems like the kind of place that’s crying out to be made fun of. We’ve heard that Victoria, British Columbia, is so lush a place that everything turns green, including any exposed metal. We’ve heard Banff is the place to go to satisfy your craving for Chinese food. Then there’s the subject of this week’s post. Hope you’

Mark Bloom and Jason Scholderhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07908382179321267850noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19752527600618702.post-66534534289452736412009-07-18T19:15:00.005-04:002009-08-20T17:09:47.497-04:00

These days, we prefer to travel by car. Air travel is just too exhausting, not to mention invasive. Anyone who’s tried to board an airplane with a simple bottle of water understands this. Seriously, we don’t know how airlines stay in business given the way they treat their “customers.” This month’s quote was stolen from a published source. Please don’t tell on us:“There is not much to say about

Mark Bloom and Jason Scholderhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07908382179321267850noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19752527600618702.post-90165301707475827922009-07-11T22:39:00.011-04:002009-07-16T00:20:59.189-04:00

Here we are back to our old ways: dissing whole groups of people for fun and nonprofit. This latest story might upset some of you, but—as they say in New York City—so what? If you’re in that small minority of people who find fault with any slur, then you shouldn’t be reading this blog. Furthermore, you’re obviously not drinking enough . . . because then you’d understand that slurs happen all the

Mark Bloom and Jason Scholderhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07908382179321267850noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19752527600618702.post-5467438797896471672009-07-04T01:20:00.013-04:002009-07-06T14:37:24.132-04:00

To celebrate Independence Day in the New World (er, we mean the US), we thought we’d share a story that highlights a great American freedom: the freedom to move . . . any time, any place. Americans love moving: for new jobs, for better school districts, or just for fun. We think it has to do with the wind in the face, the mountains on the horizon, and the debts left behind. What follows is a true

Mark Bloom and Jason Scholderhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07908382179321267850noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19752527600618702.post-26297864837064049382009-06-26T20:33:00.007-04:002009-07-09T00:27:37.025-04:00

As promised earlier this month, we’d like to share with you a place we surprisingly liked. We hadn’t expected to like it; it just sort of crept up on us when we were looking for a bar. But there it was: an honest-to-God fun experience. We can’t ignore it. We can’t make it go away. All we can do is pass it along to you and hope for the best. Don’t be mad at us. If you want more twisted travels,

Mark Bloom and Jason Scholderhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07908382179321267850noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19752527600618702.post-7685056508703326382009-06-19T01:04:00.003-04:002009-06-19T01:13:02.159-04:00

This month, we bring you a quote from a famous dead person. We wish we had met him. By the way he wrote about travel, we think we would have had a lot to talk about. Of course, our travels often ended in disaster, while his probably ended in free drinks and a lap dance. That’s the real difference between a famous writer and us. Still, we can all learn from a master, especially after a few drinks:

Mark Bloom and Jason Scholderhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07908382179321267850noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19752527600618702.post-42455229194274615652009-06-14T22:15:00.008-04:002009-06-15T13:52:57.269-04:00

Welcome to another in a long line of disappointing stories. This one started out optimistically enough, but of course, that was just a nasty tease. We keep trying, though. At the end of this month, we’ll post a story about one of the rare places we actually enjoyed, so stay tuned. In the meantime, sit yourself down and learn from the masters of the “bad trip.” —MB & JS--As young men, we toured

Mark Bloom and Jason Scholderhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07908382179321267850noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19752527600618702.post-26984026796171892122009-06-06T19:15:00.015-04:002009-06-08T19:36:04.252-04:00

We used to live in Southern California, where we’d ride our motorcycles everywhere, all the time. Temperatures rarely sank below 50°F, and the only rain we ever got came in early January. We were surprised everyone didn’t ride. Well, this story made us appreciate the price for that kind of freedom. If you ride a bike long enough, you get to see some strange things. Assuming you survive, as we did

Mark Bloom and Jason Scholderhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07908382179321267850noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19752527600618702.post-67499120246560703822009-05-24T13:20:00.011-04:002009-06-03T23:49:13.738-04:00

As college students, we had a much different view on life. We were optimists back then. Well, that’s not entirely fair. We’re still optimists, but in our own way: we are confident that any travel adventure is bound to turn out badly. That’s optimistic in the face of all those slick glossy magazines out there telling you how wonderful the world is. It is wonderful, when you can spend $1000 a day.

Mark Bloom and Jason Scholderhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07908382179321267850noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19752527600618702.post-55611510054289314752009-05-17T02:39:00.002-04:002009-05-17T03:13:34.595-04:00

Why do we travel? Well, given our experiences, we ask ourselves that same question over and over again. But here’s the real reason:“We don’t travel because we long to meet strange and fascinating people. We live in Asheville, NC; we can walk out our front door and find all the strange and fascinating people we can stand. No, we travel for two very distinct reasons: to avoid yard work and to try

Mark Bloom and Jason Scholderhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07908382179321267850noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19752527600618702.post-35013965504435311872009-05-10T13:54:00.006-04:002009-05-10T14:41:16.260-04:00

In honor of Mother’s Day, we decided to share a story that our mothers can relate to: a true tale about a unique shopping experience. Of course, since it’s one of our stories, it’s not about a simple trip to the mall. If you like exotic locales and pre-packaged tours . . . you might think differently after reading this week’s special Mother’s Day edition of Don’t Even Go There. Enjoy it anyway. —

Mark Bloom and Jason Scholderhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07908382179321267850noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19752527600618702.post-26121754947248324912009-05-02T16:57:00.009-04:002009-05-02T19:36:54.133-04:00

We take you now from India (our previous entry) to another wholesome, clean, safe place: Mexico, or more specifically Tijuana, which most seasoned travelers will tell you is about as Mexican as a meal from Taco Bell. (Note: This fast food chain did not pay for this slap in the face. They owe us.) Still, Tijuana has its charms: you can find them on a street corner for two American dollars, but

Mark Bloom and Jason Scholderhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07908382179321267850noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19752527600618702.post-27547161314982354972009-04-25T20:56:00.008-04:002009-05-04T15:48:35.311-04:00

In March of this year, someone calling him- or herself “Anonymous” left us the following pearl of wisdom as a comment for our story Indian Finger Food (June 2008), and we quote: “Yep India is not a place for an ignorant redneck racist like u.” We didn’t exactly know how to respond to that (although we did and you can look it up), so we decided we had to post another story based in Mother India.

Mark Bloom and Jason Scholderhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07908382179321267850noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19752527600618702.post-32823472957429660222009-04-17T14:11:00.006-04:002009-04-17T14:22:10.487-04:00

OK, first an admission. The following quote does not come from an actual experience. It’s based on an actual experience, however, and that ought to count for something. We here at Don’t Even Go There headquarters think the quote is funny, accurate, and real. And it’s all ours.As our devoted readers know by now, we currently reside in the city of Asheville, North Carolina, which is just a

Mark Bloom and Jason Scholderhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07908382179321267850noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19752527600618702.post-44898654849145762432009-04-11T23:36:00.008-04:002009-04-28T10:32:06.651-04:00

We once again bring you one of those rare places we actually enjoyed visiting. Of course, it was a long while ago, and things often change for the worse. This is another of those “out of the way” places that can be hard to find, but stay with us: this story is worth it. Hope you like it (both the story and the location). —MB & JS--Skiers, like golfers, tend to be passionate about their sport.

Mark Bloom and Jason Scholderhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07908382179321267850noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19752527600618702.post-70177991599424733942009-04-04T12:03:00.012-04:002009-04-04T13:20:37.436-04:00

Hitchhiking isn’t the only way we’ve traveled. We’ve taken multi-day motorcycle trips, we’ve hiked across state lines, we’ve driven a car four days straight, and we’ve even ridden in a biplane (landing on a frozen lake, which ironically was less bumpy than the country airport runway). Then there’s this true story, about a long overnight trip—and when we say “long,” we don’t just mean the distance

Mark Bloom and Jason Scholderhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07908382179321267850noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19752527600618702.post-72863104840173685212009-03-27T20:58:00.007-04:002009-03-31T10:03:08.731-04:00

We’ve written a few stories about our hitchhiking escapades—some involve danger, some entail risk—but all of them end happily (i.e., we’re still here to write about them). Hitchhiking is no longer a common travel option, especially in the States. But in Europe, drivers still pass hitchhikers at high speeds. Our advice: don’t pass up an opportunity for adventure, whether you’re the one driving or

Mark Bloom and Jason Scholderhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07908382179321267850noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19752527600618702.post-20524288686982371692009-03-19T21:05:00.003-04:002009-08-20T17:07:53.336-04:00

It’s Quote of the Month time, and for this month’s entry, we again dip into the vast well of what other people have said about traveling—words and phrases that have tickled our fancy or our funny bone. We hope you like this month’s quote. It’s by someone we don’t know, never heard of before, but want desperately to meet.“I travel a lot; I hate having my life disrupted by routine.”–Caskie Stinnett

Mark Bloom and Jason Scholderhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07908382179321267850noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19752527600618702.post-81311146770131813822009-03-15T16:35:00.006-04:002009-03-18T08:47:57.955-04:00

For those of you who like to travel light and are young enough to do so with few worries, hitchhiking can be a viable and even fun way to go. At least it used to be, back in the days when we each had a head full of idealism and hair. The following true tale isn’t exactly a life-threatening story of kidnap, abuse, or torture, but it can help keep you breathing. —MB & JS--Way way back in the 1980s,

Mark Bloom and Jason Scholderhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07908382179321267850noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19752527600618702.post-23841014603894267372009-03-09T12:08:00.002-04:002009-03-09T12:31:31.962-04:00

We can find the bad in any situation and on any trip. It’s what we do best. It’s what makes for an interesting story. If you want bright, sunny tales of how great it is to vacation at the best hotels or the best spas, read a travel magazine; they contain such reports, ad nauseum. But if you want to know what a destination is really like, you’ve come to the right place. Here’s another folk tale,

Mark Bloom and Jason Scholderhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07908382179321267850noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19752527600618702.post-32963956712772189642009-02-28T21:44:00.009-05:002009-03-06T09:57:02.313-05:00

There’s no such thing as a perfect vacation in our book. We should know; we’ve tried to find it. Instead, we have tales like the following. It started out fine, as they always do, but in the end, we wish we’d just stayed home. Learn from our mistakes. —MB & JS--It was a friendly town, full of sturdy Norwegians, micro-brew aficionados, and liberal latté drinkers. A small city; you might even call

Mark Bloom and Jason Scholderhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07908382179321267850noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19752527600618702.post-58196460378250133332009-02-27T12:54:00.004-05:002009-08-20T17:07:15.907-04:00

Today we bring you a quote from an outside source, something we haven’t done much on this blog. This one is really good, though, and it fits our style. In other words, we wish we’d said it. We post this quote without having first asked permission, so please go find all this author’s work and buy as much as you can. Maybe then he won’t sue us.“The Great Wall, I’ve been told, is the only man-made

Mark Bloom and Jason Scholderhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07908382179321267850noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19752527600618702.post-60181504558221150342009-02-14T21:01:00.005-05:002009-02-16T17:52:33.736-05:00

Let’s take another trip to an otherwise popular destination, just to see how disappointing it really is. Shining the harsh (but accurate) light of reality on a place is, after all, what we do best, and it’s what you ultimately want to read about. Enjoy this sad, entertaining, true-life tale. As usual, we didn’t. —MB & JS--Among the classical ruins of the world, very few were poorly made.

Mark Bloom and Jason Scholderhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07908382179321267850noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19752527600618702.post-20558207174040912852009-02-07T15:59:00.003-05:002009-02-07T16:45:09.858-05:00

To celebrate Mark’s birthday today, we’ve dug up the story of one of our absolute favorite travel discoveries. At first, we thought it might be a total letdown, like so many of our trips, especially considering it’s surrounded by dull Midwestern tourists, but luck was with us and our persistent curiosity prevailed. This is a real place and a true story, but like all the places we end up really

Mark Bloom and Jason Scholderhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07908382179321267850noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19752527600618702.post-20599834018718682062009-01-31T19:46:00.010-05:002009-02-02T12:57:55.034-05:00

We’ve written about the “joys” of taking a cruise boat vacation before. A cruise is like the Jehovah’s Witness idea of Heaven: beauty and serenity for all 144,000 of you. Sure it’s nice, but it’s the same 144,000 faces every day for all eternity. Think about it. Anyway, the following story deals with what happens off the boat. Hope you enjoy this true tale; be glad it didn’t happen to you. —MB &

Mark Bloom and Jason Scholderhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07908382179321267850noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19752527600618702.post-66460604205367481902009-01-24T20:22:00.003-05:002009-08-20T16:51:38.128-04:00

Here’s some advice you’ll instinctively know is valuable the moment you read it. It’s one of those things that deep down in your gut, you know it’s true. Maybe you lapsed once or twice, and that’s OK. Really. We’re only human. Now, read this and take it to heart this time. You’ll thank us later.“Avoid any place that has to advertise itself with highway billboards farther away than ten miles. If

Mark Bloom and Jason Scholderhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07908382179321267850noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19752527600618702.post-80217072274126590002009-01-18T13:42:00.007-05:002009-01-19T11:29:13.351-05:00

Here’s a cautionary tale with old-fashioned message: You can’t judge a book by its cover. We’ve simply applied that message to a vacation destination. You might be surprised to read the following; at least, we hope you’ll be surprised. That’s why you’re here, reading this. That’s why we write it. Enjoy. —MB & JS--Imagine you’re promised the most amazing views in the known world. All you have to

Mark Bloom and Jason Scholderhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07908382179321267850noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19752527600618702.post-60515354579156762372009-01-06T10:20:00.006-05:002009-04-17T12:30:32.921-04:00

Since we’ve just returned from a trip to our original hometown (to visit family and do some shoveling), we decided to post this related story. It’s a tale of caution to everyone, whether you’re a seasoned business traveler or a road-tripping college student. Don’t take this warning lightly; take it to the bank and put where it can draw interest. It’s that valuable. —MB & JS--They seem to be

Mark Bloom and Jason Scholderhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07908382179321267850noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19752527600618702.post-45018947548688786412008-12-28T15:07:00.006-05:002009-01-01T10:17:24.836-05:00

Here’s a seasonal story for you that highlights: 1) a popular tourist destination; 2) where, when, and why not to go to there; and 3) some really foul personal hygiene. Despite that, this is an anecdote you should definitely read. What you don’t know can hurt you, especially if you ignore us. —MB & JS--New Year’s Eve is a holiday meant to be shared with friends, lovers, and other drunks. You say

Mark Bloom and Jason Scholderhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07908382179321267850noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19752527600618702.post-13480941309824665422008-12-13T08:55:00.006-05:002009-08-20T16:51:10.301-04:00

As we’ve shown in the past, not all these quotes have to be our own. If we hear something that strikes us as Don’t Even Go There worthy, we’re not too proud to steal (er, we mean borrow) it. The following quote came to us without an attribute, although we wish we knew who said it so we could thank him. If you know who said, contact us before his lawyer does.“Why is it that the closer you get to

Mark Bloom and Jason Scholderhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07908382179321267850noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19752527600618702.post-73230690314142988402008-12-07T19:32:00.004-05:002008-12-07T19:55:34.668-05:00

We return once again to the region surrounding our current hometown: Asheville, North Carolina. While there’s a lot to love about this place, you have to watch out for the rednecks and tourist traps. Then there’s the hazard involved in this story. We discovered it first-hand, but you have us to thank for warning you in advance. Thank us by leaving a comment. —MB & JS--The Blue Ridge Mountains

Mark Bloom and Jason Scholderhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07908382179321267850noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19752527600618702.post-2955320359505773832008-12-02T18:09:00.002-05:002008-12-02T20:22:16.528-05:00

As long as we’re skewering once popular destinations, let’s continue with the following story. At one time, we dreamed of going to this place—to pay our respects, to relive a past we never knew, and to just see it with our own eyes. To say we were disappointed is an understatement, as you’ll read for yourself. —MB & JS--For veterans and fans of the 1960s’ counterculture or for those who merely

Mark Bloom and Jason Scholderhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07908382179321267850noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19752527600618702.post-69526494058620127922008-11-23T09:25:00.006-05:002008-11-25T17:04:36.823-05:00

Time to get back to what we do best: sharing bad trips to promising destinations. Here’s one you should know about, but if you don’t, it’s one you need to know about. Read on for the sorry tale. —MB & JS--When it comes to waterfalls, we have one question: Does size really matter? The best waterfalls are those you stumble upon in remote areas. On the Road to Hana in Maui, for example, you

Mark Bloom and Jason Scholderhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07908382179321267850noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19752527600618702.post-65218466223449918552008-11-16T22:13:00.002-05:002009-08-20T16:50:19.740-04:00

If you travel internationally, you know how difficult it can be sometimes to communicate. Throw in the complexities of local customs, and you’ve got a recipe for disaster. We know. We’ve been there and tried that. Borne from that incredibly embarrassing situation comes this month’s quote. Live and learn.“When in Rome, don’t try imitating the cryptic hand gestures of the Italians. You won’t get it

Mark Bloom and Jason Scholderhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07908382179321267850noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19752527600618702.post-50516100028143174002008-11-10T12:09:00.008-05:002008-11-21T10:27:08.100-05:00

After you read a few of our stories, you might conclude that we don’t like to go anywhere. You’d be wrong. We love to travel and believe it or not, we’re both optimists. We are always on the lookout for worthy destinations. Unfortunately—or fortunately, given this blog—we rarely succeed. This week’s story is the exception rather than the rule, but we really had to go out of our way to find it. —

Mark Bloom and Jason Scholderhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07908382179321267850noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19752527600618702.post-65217136616884813382008-11-02T20:55:00.006-05:002008-11-03T12:13:10.442-05:00

We’ve taken all kinds of transportation, from a bicycle to a luxury cruise ship. We much prefer the cruise ship. This story illuminates just one of the many “advantages” to traveling in style. Enjoy it, and learn a lesson that will stick with you for years. —MB & JS--Cruises have become popular vacations, so we couldn’t write a travel blog without including a story or two about them. In an

Mark Bloom and Jason Scholderhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07908382179321267850noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19752527600618702.post-4810778683816358062008-10-25T19:55:00.007-04:002008-10-27T16:14:32.108-04:00

Here’s a piece from our long-lost past. It was a time when we were younger, more innocent, and—dare we say it—more optimistic. There are two words that sum up our feelings of those long-ago days: good riddance. Still, maybe there’s a lesson or two to learn . . . or to relearn. —MB & JS--The Boston Garden is gone now, demolished. Part of history. You can’t go back for a visit even if you wanted

Mark Bloom and Jason Scholderhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07908382179321267850noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19752527600618702.post-9149707973004077912008-10-19T23:29:00.006-04:002009-08-20T16:49:57.528-04:00

This quote is from a friend of ours, but we couldn’t have said it better ourselves. It reminds us the days when travel was safe and a sense of humor didn’t get you locked up. Enjoy.Heard on a party flight to New Orleans for Mardi Gras: “The captain has turned on the Fasten Seat Belt sign indicating our initial approach into New Orleans. Please return the stewardess to her original upright

Mark Bloom and Jason Scholderhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07908382179321267850noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19752527600618702.post-46084179553962294122008-10-10T14:58:00.008-04:002008-10-19T23:44:45.286-04:00

In honor of Oktoberfest—that most German of all festivals—we bring you the following true story. Remember, when anything can go wrong, you know it will. This adage is true whether you’re at home or abroad. With luck, no one gets seriously injured. After the following events, we recovered, but others might have been permanently scarred, at least psychologically. —MB & JS--Picture a soft pretzel

Mark Bloom and Jason Scholderhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07908382179321267850noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19752527600618702.post-65936076494203091072008-10-06T20:15:00.004-04:002008-10-07T09:14:35.451-04:00

It’s time for another out-of-the-way, find-it-if-you-can, we-do-want-to-go-there gem. You read that correctly: we love this hidden jewel. When you travel as frequently and as far as we do, you’re bound to happen upon a place you like—even if just by accident. Here’s a destination that will surprise you as much as it did us. —MB & JS--When most people travel to France, they naturally go to Paris.

Mark Bloom and Jason Scholderhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07908382179321267850noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19752527600618702.post-8365192179094741752008-09-29T08:26:00.012-04:002008-09-30T19:47:32.976-04:00

It’s been four years since our last visit to this location, and when we returned, we were amazed how much it had changed . . . for the worse. Like Disneyland’s Main Street or the smile of a corporate lawyer, it’s now just a façade that hides an all-pervasive sound: ka-ching! —MB & JS--International travelers (like us) venture to Cabo San Lucas—on the southern tip of the Mexico’s Baha

Mark Bloom and Jason Scholderhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07908382179321267850noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19752527600618702.post-9203218736623217902008-09-21T21:28:00.010-04:002009-08-20T16:47:39.577-04:00

This quote isn’t really about travel, but it belongs with the previous story about Las Vegas. We hope you don’t mind. If you do, well, come back next week for a new installment of Don’t Even Go There. You know you want to.“We gave poker chips to a mutual friend one year for his birthday. It’s the gift that keeps on taking.”–Mark Bloom & Jason Scholder (2007)

Mark Bloom and Jason Scholderhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07908382179321267850noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19752527600618702.post-5343289294220292752008-09-15T09:12:00.007-04:002008-10-02T12:09:10.001-04:00

It’s not even how you play the game. In this case—and in this story—it’s better to avoid the game altogether. This is a story about the perils of gambling: not the game itself, but the sordid, seedy, sinful, and downright scenic world that surrounds it. We’re talking about one city in particular, and you can probably guess which one. Enjoy our view. —MB & JS--Few places in the world exude as much

Mark Bloom and Jason Scholderhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07908382179321267850noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19752527600618702.post-48034739196205917892008-09-06T23:28:00.014-04:002008-09-29T12:01:54.694-04:00

While we’re on the subject on unbearable heat (see A Cure for Heavy Sweating), we thought we’d throw in an old story about one of our least favorite places to visit in the United States. It’s bad enough that it exists; unfortunately, we have family there and have been known to fly or drive in from time to time. Don’t make the same mistake we did. —MB & JS--Every place somehow entices people to

Mark Bloom and Jason Scholderhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07908382179321267850noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19752527600618702.post-22759527422902923802008-08-25T17:04:00.018-04:002008-10-02T12:19:28.665-04:00

Don’t believe everything you hear or read about a destination (even if you read it here). Do your research and do it before you travel. Don’t make the same mistakes we did. Here’s more advice you can’t get anywhere else. —MB & JS--Why do we always accept that advertisements tell us the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth? Corporations spend billions of dollars to persuade us to buy

Mark Bloom and Jason Scholderhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07908382179321267850noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19752527600618702.post-55308751232036215292008-08-19T13:26:00.007-04:002009-08-20T16:47:16.818-04:00

This next quote reminds us that we’ve spent most of our lives living on one coast or another. Why is it people seem to flock to the coasts for vacation? Certainly not for this:“Wherever there’s water—whether it’s a lake, an ocean, or a river—you can find kitsch. It’s in the stores, the restaurants, and the homes. Sometimes, it’s even displayed in public: on a front lawn or in a city park. Why is

Mark Bloom and Jason Scholderhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07908382179321267850noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19752527600618702.post-10468100034262108742008-08-14T14:44:00.011-04:002008-10-02T11:57:06.632-04:00

Every once in a while, we come upon a place we absolutely love. It doesn’t happen often, but when you travel as much as we do, you’re bound to find someplace with honest charm. Usually, it’s so remote it won’t even show up on a search engine. North Dakota is one such destination. —MB & JS--Lots of people go to North Dakota for vacation. Literally hundreds.If you can’t find North Dakota with a

Mark Bloom and Jason Scholderhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07908382179321267850noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19752527600618702.post-67655967088917393102008-08-05T17:10:00.013-04:002008-10-02T14:11:21.562-04:00

Some places have become popular vacation destinations because of the beauty, the bargains, or the bucolic lifestyle. These locations—often far from home—attract the rich and famous as well as the want-to-be rich and famous. But even trendy resorts have areas to avoid. Here’s our version of Paradise Lost. —MB & JS--Acapulco de Juárez, on the western shore of Mexico, is a tourist magnet—more

Mark Bloom and Jason Scholderhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07908382179321267850noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19752527600618702.post-89317936997670182982008-07-29T20:57:00.011-04:002008-09-29T12:31:01.001-04:00

Wandering around the United States can definitely inspire stories that spark the imagination, where you fall into—however willingly—a wild adventure that you know you can write about later. But sometimes you happen upon a place with its own stories, where you’re just a keen observer. Austin, Texas, is such a place. —MB & JS--Most of Texas is flat, arid, and desolate. It’s the kind of place where

Mark Bloom and Jason Scholderhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07908382179321267850noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19752527600618702.post-78466524484193321712008-07-24T10:49:00.008-04:002009-08-20T16:47:01.975-04:00

This new quote perfectly encapsulates many of the hard lessons we learned from traveling in less-than-ideal circumstances. Unless you’re a jet-setter with mountains of money, take this advice to heart:“No one likes to get sick while traveling. It wastes time, forces compromises, and just plain sucks. Regardless of where you are, we recommend drinking plenty of quinine water with a laxative chaser

Mark Bloom and Jason Scholderhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07908382179321267850noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19752527600618702.post-89760381469745571302008-07-16T20:56:00.013-04:002008-09-29T11:56:17.733-04:00

This was one of the first stories in our collection. Once we wrote it, we realized we were on to something. Of course, during the actual experience, we discovered we were also “on to” something, as you’ll see when you read this sorry tale. Watch out! —MB & JS--Amsterdam, Holland, is a city every international traveler should know intimately. With its drug dealers and tourist traps, if you don’t

Mark Bloom and Jason Scholderhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07908382179321267850noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19752527600618702.post-44395199726528082802008-07-04T10:12:00.008-04:002008-09-29T11:55:39.573-04:00

Finally, a motorcycle story from the archives. Since today is Independence Day here in the United States, it’s the perfect opportunity to reflect on the greatness of our country and the freedoms we enjoy. Of course, we have to include a Don’t Even Go There twist. Otherwise, why would you be here reading this? Enjoy. —MB & JS--Years ago, we attempted a round-trip, cross-country motorcycle tour.

Mark Bloom and Jason Scholderhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07908382179321267850noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19752527600618702.post-54430636649712298552008-06-29T12:41:00.004-04:002008-06-29T12:59:35.898-04:00

Here it is: another ugly food experience overseas. You’d think we’d learn. If we ever do, what will we write about then? Where to get the best foie gras? You can get that information in any reputable travel magazine—you know, the kind that won’t publish our stories. —MB & JS--Let’s get something straight right away: India is not a clean country. The pollution raises serious health issues, and the

Mark Bloom and Jason Scholderhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07908382179321267850noreply@blogger.com11